Resilience

I thought the trauma I would experience would be from seeing or being in some serious incident. But it is more from the systematic harassment, watching a human get bullied over and over and over again.

And I only see it for days at a time. Palestinians have been doing this for years, decades, with this last year escalating to a whole other level. It can feel hopeless to me. I have no idea how they maintain their resolve and strength. I find myself exhausted after only days in one place. Moving to different locations is a slight change of scenery, but there is just a different form of harassment at each location. The reprieve is short-lived. 

Even on break from working it is hard not to notice and be affected by the differences between the menial conditions in the villages and the luxury of the imposing illegal settlements. It is soul-crushing and maddening. So much so, sometimes I feel stuck in some sort of middle space between the two, where there is an emotional dead zone. Unable to concretely feel either, I settle into a sort of numbness and confusion. I imagine many emotions will come rushing into focus upon my return. 

Until then I try to focus on the work and take inspiration from my comrades in human rights, and the Palestinians, who time and time again show us the definition of resilience.